31 Halloween Funny Quotes Collection – Funny Halloween Sayings 2022

When it comes to Halloween, Halloween means EVERYTHING. Halloween is about costumes, decorations, parties, candies, cake, and most importantly, FOOD. When it comes to Halloween food, you have to enjoy it with the right spirit. If you do, nothing can stop you from having a great time on Halloween!

Halloween Funny Quotes

We all might have heard that some of the Halloween quotes are filled with Halloween humor, but we have not had the chance to know all the great Halloween quotes, and they are too funny. Here is the list of Top 31 Halloween Funny Quotes.

“Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain?”

– Arthur Weasley, in J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Here’s to Miley Cyrus for somehow making all Halloween costumes prior to 2013 look shockingly unslutty.”

– Anonymous

“The older you get, the harder it is to find someone willing to share a horse costume with you.”

– Anonymous

I’d dress up as Siri for Halloween if my life didn’t already entail being asked stupid questions all day.

– Unknown

“Halloween is for dressing as something you’re not. That’s why most girls go as sexy.”

“This Halloween the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.”

Be sure to remember when Halloween is. Answering the door when you’re three-quarters crocked and finding a pack of midget H-Men, Masters of the Universes on the front porch can be a scary experience if you’re not expecting it.

P. J. O’Rourke

When I was in college, I came up with the perfect Halloween costume. I wore cat ears and angel wings and carried a pitchfork, and went as every girl on campus.

Steve Hofstetter

“I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.”

– Charles S. Swartz

“Sticky fingers, tired feet; one last house, trick or treat!”

– Rusty Fischer
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Halloween Quotes And Sayings

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Funny Halloween Quotes for Adults

Halloween is almost here! All the ghouls and ghosts and scary stories have been placed on the shelves, all the pumpkins have been carved and all the candy has been prepared. What better time to read some funny Halloween quotes!

“Women: You can’t live with them, and you can’t get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something.”

– Emo Philips

I awaken in the Halloween aftermath. Bed covered in candy wrappers. Looking down at my chocolate smeared hands I whisper, “What have I done?”

Reverend Scott ‏@Reverend_Scott

It’s that wonderful time of year again when the spiderwebs I’ve been too lazy to clean become functional decorations.

Andy H. ‏@AndyAsAdjective

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“Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask… while others finally feel safe to take theirs off.”

– Steve Maraboli

“Last Halloween was bad for me. I got beat up. I went to a party dressed as a piñata.”

– Jim Samuels

“Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, ‘Never take candy from strangers.’ And then they dressed me up and said, ‘Go beg for it.’”

– Rita Rudner

“I can think of nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night…”

– Steve Almond, Candyfreak

“A mask tells us more than a face.”

– Oscar Wilde, Irish Poet

“I don’t know that there are real ghosts and goblins, but there are always more trick-or-treaters than neighborhood kids”

– Robert Brault
Funny Halloween Quotes Saying
Funny Halloween Quotes

My version of a haunted house is hitting yes when an ATM asks me if I’d like to see my balance.

Damien Fahey ‏@DamienFahey

I’m going to be “Mom who abandoned her family and fled to Mexico with a new identity” for Halloween. Too bad my kids won’t get to see it.

Tara Brown ‏@Faux_Ma

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The only thing that really scares me about Halloween is running out of candy.

Melanie White

“I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.”

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Funny Halloween Witch Quote Pictures

“Who made the rule that everybody has to dress like sheep 364 days of the year? Think of all the people you’d meet if they were in costume every day. People would be so much easier to talk to – like talking to dogs. ”

I like to get my candy early for Halloween so I have plenty of time to buy more when I eat the first bag.

Molly ‏@SleepingSuspect

If I’m lazy and I can’t come up with a costume, I would just wear a slip and write ‘Freudian’ on it.

Julia Stiles

If you’re in Alabama, don’t dress up as a nun, priest or rabbi for Halloween. Impersonating “a minister of any religion” is punishable by fine or jail.

Nina Vizcarrondo, in Time

When I was 12, I went as my mother for Halloween. I put on a pair of heels, went door to door, and criticized what everyone else was wearing.

Robin Bach

“I would love if gay men responded to me. All I want is for many gay men to dress up as me for Halloween.”

– Mindy Kaling
Funny Happy Halloween Quotes for Halloween Cards
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Check Also – Disney Halloween Quotes

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“I have friends who wear Star Wars costumes and act like the characters all day. I may not be that deep into it, but there’s something great about loving what you love and not caring if it’s unpopular.”

– Kristen Bell

“I put the costume on and said ‘It’s not very comfortable, but it looks amazing,’ so it’s all good.”

– Chris Hemsworth
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