95 Best Halloween Funny Sayings 2022

Halloween is a fun time of the year! It’s also a great time to have some laughs at the expense of others who are not so fortunate or behaving in an unusual way. Here are some Halloween funny sayings that you can use this Halloween!

These funny Halloween sayings will help you to not only have fun with your family and friends on this holiday but will also keep the kids from being scared at all of the spooky decorations that are sure to be around them.

  1. How can you tell if a vampire has a cold?

2. You are a bag full of treats!

3. Know why mummies never reveal their true age?

4. Halloween is the one time of year where grown women can dress like hookers and no one will care.

5. If you have no time to buy a costume, go to your Halloween party in a suit, and say you’re a hit man.

6. This letter is sealed with a vampire kiss and bite.

7. If a man harbors any sort of fear, it makes him landlord to a ghost.

8. May the ghost be with you. Happy Halloween!

9. Not resting in peace.

10. Where there is no imagination there is no horror.

11. I am the ghost boo-ster! Happy Halloween!

12. When Halloween is here the monsters appear and the candies disappear.

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Halloween funny sayings

13. Halloween is the only day you can take candy from strangers.

14. May you shake, rattle, and roll this Halloween!

15. Why do demons and ghouls always hang out together?

16. You are scary beautiful! Enjoy your Halloween!

17. This letter is sealed with a vampire kiss and bite.

18. Happy Halloween! Time to carve out the pumpkin, bring out the candies and let’s get sugar high.

19. You are scary beautiful! Enjoy your Halloween!

20. Trick or treat, bags of sweets, ghosts are walking down the street.

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21. And God said “Let there be candy,” and there was candy. Happy Halloween!

22. May you be the sweetest ghoul on Halloween!

23. Trick or treat, Mr. President. Have a happy and scary Halloween!

24. May the ghost be with you. Happy Halloween!

25. Not resting in peace.

26. I am the ghost boo-ster! Happy Halloween!

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27. When Halloween is here the monsters appear and the candies disappear.

28. Halloween is the only day you can take candy from strangers.

29. May you shake, rattle, and roll this Halloween!

30. Have fun witch hunting tonight.

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31. You totally rock, GHOULFRIEND.

32. I got a feeling that tonight’s gonna be a boo night.

33. Silent night, ghostly night all is calm all white. Round yon candy, goodies and treats.

34. I can’t stop falling in love with boooooo.

35. I witch you a happy Halloween, I hope it doesn’t suck like a vampire.

36. Please share these Halloween sayings. Spread the goosebumps and hocus pocus! Every little bit helps!

37. I’m just hanging out with my ghoul fiends tonight!

38. I’m thinking of joining my local vampire club. Apparently, they’re always looking for new blood.

39. What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.

40. I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now it’s election night.

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41. The older you get, the harder it is to find someone to share a horse costume with you.

42. The adults celebrate the First of November as International Eat Your Kid’s Halloween Candy After They Fall Asleep Day.

43. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself … and spiders.

44. For Halloween, we dressed up as almonds. Everyone could tell we were nuts!

45. Reese’s in Peace.

46. May the ghost be with you.

47. I am guilty of eating candy in cold blood.

48. Know how Frankenstein likes his potatoes?

49. A candy a day keeps the monsters away.

50. I’d dress up as Siri for Halloween if my life didn’t already entail being asked stupid questions all day.

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51. I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year, so I’m dressing up as a phone battery at two percent.

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52. For Halloween, I’ve decided the easiest thing to do is give up caffeine. If that doesn’t terrify everyone around me, nothing will.

53. Halloween is the only time I can convince others that my children are monsters.

54. What do spiders do for fun on Halloween?

55. “Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, ‘Never take candy from strangers.’ And then they dressed me up and said, ‘Go beg for it.” – Rita Rudner

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56. “Last Halloween was bad for me. I got beat up. I went to a party dressed as a piñata.” – Jim Samuels

57. “The only thing that really scares me about Halloween is running out of candy.” – Melanie White

58. Forget love — I’d rather fall in chocolate!

59. May you be the sweetest ghoul on Halloween!

60. Have fun witch hunting tonight.

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61. You totally rock, GHOULFRIEND.

62. I got a feeling that tonight’s gonna be a boo night.

63. I am guilty of eating candy in cold blood.

64. A candy a day keeps the monsters away.

65. I’d have to be a ghoul not to appreciate you. I love you my Frankenstein.

66. You are a bag full of treats!

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67. “For Halloween I’m gonna be emotionally stable. No one’s gonna know it’s me.” – Andrea Gibson

68. “You don’t really need a Halloween to scare me because you can do that at anytime of the year. Happy Halloween to you.”

69. “Halloween is the most amazing time of the year when candies disappear and monsters appear. May you enjoy them both.”

70. I’d have to be a ghoul not to appreciate you. I love you my Frankenstein.

funny halloween sayings for signs

71. “Trick or Treat. Smell my feet. Give me something good to eat. Give me candy. Give me cake. Give me something sweet to take!” – Monty Harper

72. “Remember when we used to worry about some weirdo having a razor blade inside an apple on Halloween? Not anymore. Like a kid today would eat an apple.” – Jay Leno

73. “I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.” – Charles S. Swartz

74. “A group of wine experts has actually come up with a list of the best wines to pair with Halloween candy. They say white wine goes great with Skittles, red wine goes great with Twix, and … we’re alcoholics, aren’t we?'” – Jimmy Fallon

75. “This Halloween the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.” – Conan O’Brien

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76. “For Halloween, everyone on my street has bodies in their lawns. It’s like living in Florida.” – Jason Love

78. “The real monsters are the people that give away little boxes of raisins instead of Halloween candy.” – Mike Raphone

79. A candy a day keeps the monsters away.

80. I am guilty of eating candy in cold blood.

funny halloween sayings for tombstones

81. I wave my wand and put on my cape and wish you lots of treats and success coming your way. Happy Halloween!

82. This letter is sealed with a vampire kiss and bite.

83. Happy Halloween! Time to carve out the pumpkin, bring out the candies and let’s get sugar high.

84. Trick or treat, bags of sweets, ghosts are walking down the street.

85. May you have a bag full of candy, bones, bats and loads of fun. Happy Halloween!

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86. When Halloween is here the monsters appear and the candies disappear.

87. May the ghost be with you.

funny halloween sayings witches

88. “May you turn out to be the cutest and the sweetest ghoul on the occasion of Halloween. Have a fantastic day ahead!!!”

89. “May the night of Halloween bring along may spooky surprises for you. May you enjoy treats more than tricks on this day.”

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90. “On this ghostly night, I wish a very Happy Halloween to everyone. Let us dress up like we are the monsters and scare everyone around.”

91. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Halloween party?

92. Trick or treat, bags of sweets, ghosts are walking down the street.

93. What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?

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94. With the recent vampire craze, it’s no longer cool to dress like one for Halloween. Thanks, Twilight.

95. And God said “Let there be candy,” and there was candy. Happy Halloween!

While these sayings are funny, it’s important to remember that humor is subjective. Share your favorite Halloween quote or saying in the comments below! Which of these quotes was your favorite?

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